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Day 5: The Journey to the Land of Nowhere

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

Joe and his grandfather stood next to the sleigh while Levi David and Wyatt James made some adjustments to things.

“Where are we going?” Joe asked.

“Well, I was hoping you had an idea on that subject,” his grandfather said.

“Me? How would I know…wait maybe I do.” Joe climbed onboard the sleigh and spoke to Levi David.

“You sure?” Levi David asked.

Joe nodded. “Almost certain.”

“Almost?” Levi David said,

Joe shrugged, then climbed back down to talk to his grandfather.

“What was that all about?”

“I told him where we needed to go first,” Joe said.

“And that is?” his grandfather asked.

“Nowhere,” Joe answered, a bit of a smirk on his face.

“Nowhere?” his grandfather said. “And where might that be?”

“Think about it. Where is the only place in the world where possibilities don’t exist?”

“I would say nowhere,” his grandfather said. “Possibilities are everywhere. But nowhere is not a real place.”

“Ah, but consider this, remember when we read the Sherlock Holmes books? What did Sherlock say about the improbable?”

His grandfather smiled. “Once you have eliminated the impossible, what remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

“And what do we have? Someone took Santa’s ability to give the gift of possibilities. Possibilities exist everywhere. Yet Santa’s power to give the gift of possibilities is still missing. Therefore, there must be a place called Nowhere and that is where we will find whoever did this.”

His grandfather thought for a moment. “Here, let me have your cell phone.”

Joe handed it to him. “When you gonna break down and get your own phone?”

“I’m breaking down more each day. Why would I need to get one when I can just use everybody else’s?”

“What if I want to call you?” Joe asked.

“Nobody calls anymore. All they do is text and snipcheat.”

“Snapchat,” Joe corrected.

“Whatever, here,” he said, handing the phone back, “read this.”

“What is it?”

“Well, in keeping with the Sherlock Holmes theme, it may be a clue.”

Joe looked at the phone, scrolling through the webpage.

He’s a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

He’s as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man, can you see me at all?

“What’s this?”

“A song by the Beatles,” his grandfather said. “I always knew they were inspired by some deep magic but never suspected just how powerful. They wrote this decades ago, must have seen the future.”

“What does it mean?” Joe asked.

“It means, my boy, you are right. There is a nowhere land.”

“Ready,” Levi David said.

“You know how to get to nowhere?” Joe asked.

Wyatt James chuckled. “Nowhere is a piece of cake compared to some of the places we have to fly to deliver presents.”

Joe and his grandfather climbed aboard.

“So how do you fly there?” Joe asked.

“We don’t,” Levi said. “Did you ever just go for a walk and just let your feet take your wherever they wanted to go?”

“Sure,” Joe said. “Sometimes you just want to be alone for a bit.”

“Well, that’s what we’re going to do,” Levi David said. “Reindeer love to wander. Given the choice, they’d wander their whole life. We,” and he waited for Wyatt to drop the reins,” are just gonna let them wander to, wait for it, nowhere. Hit it, girls.”

And as the sound of Levi’s voice faded, the reindeer took off.

Joe leaned over to his grandfather. “Did he just say girls?”

“Joe” his grandfather nodded. “They are all girls.”

“But I thought…”

“Yup, you and most of the world have been misinformed. All reindeer have antlers, the boys lose their antlers in the fall, the girls do not. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. And, of course, Rudolph.

“I know, Rudolph sounds like a boy’s name. But what’s in a name?”

“I never knew,” Joe said.

“Here’s a good trivia tidbit. Donner was originally Donder, got a bit mis-translated.”

“You are just full of this stuff, aren’t you?” Joe said.

“Oh,” Levi David interrupted, “he’s full of it alright. We’ve known that for years.”

“Me too,” Joe said, laughing.

“Hey, I’m very sensitive you know,” his grandfather said.

“Yeah, sensitive. That’s exactly what I think whenever I think of you,” Joe chuckled, then settled in to watch the stars overhead.

Tomorrow: The Nowhere Man

Day 4: Journey

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

Day 4: Journey

The sleigh descended in a gentle spiral, giving Joe a view of a brightly lit town bustling with elves and reindeer dashing here and there.

“Is that…?”

“Yup, the one and only,” his grandfather said. “Cool how I can anticipate your questions, eh?”

“Ah, not much of a trick since I am in a sleigh piloted by elves and pulled by reindeer. The question was more rhetorical.”

“Will you listen to him, Levi David,” his grandfather said, winking at the elf. “All these big words from our resident genius here.”

“I can read, you know, grandfather.”

“I know, I know,” his grandfather laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “And it’s because you can read that we are here.”

Joe’s face scrunched up. “Huh?”

His grandfather pointed. “Here’s comes someone to explain. And before you say, is that…it is.”

“Hello there, Joe,” Santa Claus himself said. “Thanks for coming.”

“You’re welcome, but I was sort of kidnapped.”

Santa put his hands together. “I see he has your sense of humor, Liam. I am not surprised. He comes from a long line of wise guys.”

Joe’s grandfather shrugged his shoulders. “We grow ‘em right in Cumberland. Not intimidated by anyone.”

“Let’s hope so,” Santa said. “Now, Joe, I bet you’re curious about why you’re here.”

“You might say that.”

“You know about our Journey, Engage, Believe process?”

“My mom told me grandfather used to say it all the time, but I’m not sure how that has anything to do with me.”

 “Because I need you to go on a journey, find whoever has taken something from me, engage with them, convince them to return it, and help the world believe in possibilities again.”

“Me?” Joe said, “Why me? I’m not magical. I can’t fly around the world in one night like you. What can I do that you can’t?”

“That is true,” Santa said. “Yet you have something inside you few people have.”

“I do?” Joe said, glancing at his grandfather.

“Like your grandfather here, and his grandfather before him, in a line going back centuries, you have the gift of believing in possibilities. Most people have lost it. When I sensed the world was losing its ability to believe in the possible, I began giving it out. I used to add it to all the gifts I deliver, but someone has taken that ability away.

“And the troubling part is, at first, I never even noticed. I just assumed it was with each gift, then I started to notice a change in the world. People lost their ability to imagine, to dream, to wonder. It took me a while to figure it out. Once I did, I sent for your grandfather and he told me he had just the person for the job, you.”

“I still don’t understand,” Joe said.

Santa nodded at one of the elves who seemed to disappear then reappear in a flash. He handed a wrapped gift to Santa.

Santa handed the gift to Joe.

“What’s inside, Joe?” Santa asked.

Joe shrugged, turning the gift over in his hands, getting a feel for the weight. “I’d have to open it to see,” he said.

“What could it be?” Santa asked.

“Oh, I don’t know, a lot of things. “A model plane, a car, a video game, lots of things.”

“Open it,” Santa said.

Tearing the paper off the box, he popped the tape and opened the box. It was empty.

“There’s nothing inside,” Joe said, holding the box open. “It’s empty.”

‘And yet, just a moment ago, it was full of possibilities,” Santa said. “You never for a moment believed it to be an empty box.”

Joe nodded, handing the box back to the elf.

“And if there had been, say, a rocket ship inside?” Santa said, putting his hand on Joe’s shoulder, “What would you have done with such a gift?”

“Played with it. Make believe it was flying to the stars.”

“You see my point?” Santa said.

“I believe in possibilities?” Joe answered, a bit unsure.

“Exactly,’ Santa said, “and that ability to believe in possibilities is what is missing in our world. People now focus on getting the box open, not seeing the possibilities. And I need you to find out why.”

“But why do I still believe in possibilities if the rest of the world doesn’t?” Joe asked.

“That, my boy, is the fortune of birth,” Santa said. “When all this started,” waving his hands at the elves, reindeer, and workshops around him, “it began because I and a few others, like your grandfather and all the grandfathers before him, believed in possibilities.

“When a little boy or girl holds a toy plane and pretends to fly through the sky, they are seeing the possibilities. When a young girl or boy looks through a telescope, they are looking into a universe full of possibilities.

“We need to get the power of possibility back so it can be given to everyone. It is believing in possibilities that makes our world a better place. It is the whole reason for the spirit of Christmas. This spirit isn’t a thing, or a gift, or even the act of giving, it is the power of believing we can make a difference in the world. Believing it is possible to make the world a better place. Starting with your family and friends then reaching out to the whole world.”

Joe stayed silent for a moment, there was a lot to take in. “Okay, I’ll do it but where do I even begin?”

Santa turned to look at Joe’s grandfather. “Liam?”

“We start at the beginning,” the old man said. “There are, pardon the pun, a lot of possibilities for what’s happened.”

“I will leave it in your capable hands, Liam,” Santa said. “Levi David and Wyatt James will be but a thought away should you need them.” He turned to face Joe, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Whatever happens, Joe, never let anyone or anything take away your belief in possibilities, okay?”

“That’s not even a possibility, Santa,” Joe said with a smile.

Santa let out one of his world-famous laughs. “Hah, you gotta love this kid.” And he disappeared in a flash, the laughter still echoing of the snow-covered mountains.

Joe looked at his grandfather, “Now what?”

“Now, we get you back to school so you’re not late. Then we get started after you get out.”

“How we gonna do that?” Joe said. “No matter how fast the sleigh travels it can’t go back in time. I’m already late.”

Joe’s grandfather tilted his head, giving Joe a ‘think about it’ look.

“Ah,” Joe said when the light went on. “Travel in the sleigh slows down time, right?”

“Right you are,” the old man winked at Joe. “And by my calculations we have just enough of time remaining to get you to school. Let’s go.”

Back onboard the sleigh, Joe sat in silence.

“Something wrong?” his grandfather asked.

“No, no, just thinking about…”

“Possibilities?” his grandfather said.

Joe smiled. “Yup, possibilities.”

Tomorrow: The Journey to the Land of Nowhere

Day 3: Open Your Mind to the Magic

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

As Joe made his way along the sidewalk, his grandfather fell into step with him.

“Where’d you come from?” Joe asked.

“Well, Ireland originally by way of New York, a long year spent on a government all-expense paid trip to Vietnam during the war, then back to Providence, and then here in good ole’ Cumberland, Rhode Island where I had the good fortune to trick your grandmother into marrying me.”

Joe shook his head. “I know that, Grandfather, I meant just now.”

“Ah, well then, I came from where I was and now, I am here.”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Do you ever just keep it simple?”

“Nope,” the old man said, a huge smile lighting up his face, “life’s complicated, but I do try to make it enjoyable. Are you ready?”

“Ah, ready for what? In case you haven’t noticed, despite all the clues like a backpack and lunch bag,” he held them up for the man to see, “I am on my way to school. Oh, and thanks for the backpack.”

“Well, first, you’re welcome. Second, you are indeed on your way, probably not where you expected to go, but you are on the way. You’ll get to school just a bit late.”

“Ah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“You don’t even know what the idea is yet,” his grandfather said.

Joe stopped walking, turning to face the old man. “Okay, I’ll play along. What is this? Is this an elaborate new prank you’ve devised?’

“Oh, ye of little faith,” his grandfather said. “Follow me.”

Without waiting for Joe, the old man headed down a path into the woods, disappearing into the trees. Joe glanced around, checked the time on his cellphone, shrugged, then followed the old man down the path. It occurred to him he’d never noticed this path before.

“If the school calls my mom, you’re coming with me to explain as part of my defense,” Joe said, jogging to catch up.

When Joe came into the clearing, he stopped dead in his tracks. Closing his eyes for a moment, thinking he must still be dreaming, he slowly reopened them.

“No worries, Joe. Time does sometimes wait while we follow our hearts. No one will even notice you’re missing.”

“Ah, is that?” Joe said, trying to take it all in.

“Indeed, it is, my boy. Let me introduce you to my good friends, Levi David, head flying coordinator elf for Santa’s reindeer and Wyatt James, chief elf training pilot.”

“Ah, they’re elves,” Joe said, glancing between his smiling grandfather and the two elves waving at him.

“I told you he was smart,” his grandfather said, winking at the elves. “Nothing gets by him.”

“Ah, wha, what are we doing here?” Joe said.

“Tell you what,” his grandfather said, pushing him toward the sleigh. “Why don’t we climb aboard, enjoy the ride, and I’ll explain everything. You don’t get airsick, do you?”

Joe looked at him as he took a seat. “How would I know? I’ve never flown in a sleigh before.”

“Excellent point,” his grandfather said. “Just lean over the edge if something comes up,” he let out a laugh. “We’ll avoid residential areas while you get your wings. You didn’t have a big breakfast, did you?”

“Wings?” Joe asked, eyes wide as he stared at the old man.

“It’s an expression, Joe, just an expression. You’ll be fine. I only tossed my cookies once but that was during a blizzard.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“Couple of times, whenever the call came.”

When Joe turned to look over the edge of the sleigh, he realized they were already flying. He’d never felt anything.

“I’m a good pilot,” Wyatt James said. “You’ll be fine.”

“How’d you know what I was thinking?” Joe asked.

“It’s an elf skill,” Wyatt James said. “We sense these things.”

Joe settled back and enjoyed the moment. Despite being in an open sleigh flying through an early morning December sky, he felt no chill or wind. Light snow had fallen the night before giving a shimmering glow to the ground, sparkling like diamonds. But in the sleigh, he was nice and warm.

He tapped his grandfather on his shoulder.

“Where are we going?”

His grandfather leaned over, pointed at the lettering on the backpack, and tapped the letter J.

“This is the first part, the Journey.”

Tomorrow: Journey

Day 2: The Legend of the Christmas Star

/ Joe Broadmeadow / 1 Comment

Joe woke early, before the alarm, something that almost never happened. With dawn still struggling to chase the night away, it wasn’t light that woke him. Climbing out of bed, rubbing his eyes, he tried to get them to focus.

Shapes all blended into shadows. Shadows played tricks on the eyes.

Then he saw it.  At the foot of his bed was a new backpack. On the top of the main compartment were the words, JEB Wizard.

Hmm, Joe thought, not only is grandfather fast but he can be very quiet when he wants to be.

After getting dressed, Joe bounced down the stairs carrying his new backpack.

“Where’d that come from?” his mother asked.

“I dunno, it was next to my bed this morning.”

“Ah, I remember now. Your grandfather bought that a while ago, said to hold onto it until you needed it.  Your father must have seen the torn one and put it there before he left for work.” 

Joe shrugged, hmm, he thought, maybe that’s what woke me. “Yeah, I think I heard him, but it was too dark to see anything.”

“Not even with the hall light on?” his mother said.

“Must have been too groggy,” he answered, dropping the backpack on the floor and then sitting at the table.

“Knowing your father, he probably tried to sneak in and scare you, then decided to let you sleep. Come on now, hurry and eat or you’ll be late.”

“Okay, but can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” his mother said, putting the finishing touches on his lunch.

“What’s JEB Wizard mean?”

As the words came out of his mouth, his mother spun around. “What did you say?”

“JEB Wizard,” Joe said, pointing at the bag. “It’s written on top.”

His mother walked over, then bent down to get a better look. “Well, I’ll be.”

“You’ll be what?” Joe asked, wolfing down his breakfast.

“It was a story your grandfather always told me when I was a little girl. About a wizard and a star. A gift from a Christmas star.”

“Really? What was the story?”

“We don’t have time now,” his mother said, glancing at Alexa, “but I will tell you what JEB means.”

Joe waited for his mother to explain, she seemed lost in her thoughts.

“Ah, are you telling me today or anytime soon?” Joe smiled.

His mother chuckled. “Sorry, I was just remembering the first time I heard the story. I was about your age. Your grandfather didn’t just tell the story; he made it so as if we were part of it.”

Her eyes became a bit misty. “He loves, ah,” and she wiped away a tear, “telling stories.”

Joe smiled, remembering all the stories his grandfather told him. “Okay, mom, I gotta go. What does JEB mean?”

His mother put her hand on his shoulder. “Your grandfather loves to say this all the time. He said to always live your life like this, and it will be a happy one,” taking a deep breath. “JEB means Journey, Engage, Believe.”

*****

*****

Tomorrow: Open Your Mind to the Magic

Angel’s glow

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

During the battle of Shiloh, April 6-7, 1862 in western Tennessee the combined casualties exceeded 24,000 with almost 3,500 killed.

Reports of a strange phenomenon came from the battlefield of wounded men with a blue glow emanating from their wounds. The wounded who exhibited this phenomenon had a higher recovery and lower infection rate.

It became known as the Angels’ Glow and was attributed to divine providence and supernatural intercession. The fact that the phenomenon occurred on both sides did not play a significant part in the stories, but this obviously divine intervention by God did. God apparently wasn’t picking sides in this war, which is another topic for discussion,

This legend thrived for almost 140 years.

Then, in 2001, an enterprising high school student named Bill Martin toured the battlefield with his mother who happened to be a microbiologist. Martin and a friend set out to find an explanation.

They first identified bacteria that are bioluminescent then examined environmental conditions for any that could have been present in Shiloh in eighteen sixty-two. They focused on the bacterium Photorhabdus luminescens which lives inside soil nematodes, microscopic worms.

The two have a symbiotic relationship. When the bacteria emits light, it attracts insects, allowing the worm to infect them. Once inside, the worm regurgitates the bacteria into the insects’ blood, killing the insect and other toxic microbes present. This may be what happened with Angel’s Glow. Soldiers’ wounds became contaminated with the nematodes. The worms likely released their toxins and enzymes, essentially cleaning the wound by killing pathogenic bacteria.
https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=angels%20glow%20battle%20of%20shiloh&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5

Now, this particular incident hasn’t had more extensive research done. And there are other bioluminescent bacteria candidates as possible explanations. But the story is illustrative of legends and stories of divine intervention, inexplicable at the time, that almost always turn out to be fully explainable by science.

And if they still defy explanation, that is more indicative of our limitations than proof of divine intervention. Occam’s Razor, seeking the most likely and simplest explanation, rather than leaping to the conclusion of divine providence, seems most appropriate. Perhaps, if someone thought it over at the time, they might have figured out what was causing it, even if they didn’t understand how, and saved more lives rather than offering prayers of thanks.

My grandfather used to tell me that thunder was the sound caused by Angels bowling. At five years old, this seemed a plausible explanation. I’m sure my grandfather knew better, and as I grew up and learned to think for myself, I came to see the reality.

The Twelve-Year-Cycle Redux

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

Coming up on the twelve-year-cycle I wrote about here, https://joebroadmeadowblog.com/2019/01/24/an-american-twelve-year-memory-loss/, I wonder what 2028 will offer us?

The last time I wrote about this, 2016, we had just elected Trump to his first term. Somehow we survived, chose not to re-elect him to a second term, had four years of relative stability, then exhibited the most common symptom of insanity by repeating an action and expecting a different result.

I will give him this, we are not engaged in any active combat at the moment, but it would seem he desperately wants to try out the effectiveness of his renamed Secretary of War department by starting his own. (A bigly, better war. They say it’ll be the best war we ever had.)

We now find ourselves acting in the manner of enemies we long despised, where someone in the military chain of command orders a second strike to kill wounded combatants (I’ll grant the assumption for now, absent evidence to the contrary) in clear violation of the rules of engagement.

We have a President who supports the Secretary of War’s assertion that the decision for the second strike did not come from him, but from a field commander instead. This raises important questions about accountability and the chain of command in our military actions. There is no denial of the order. No announcement that this field commander has been relieved of duty pending an investigation. Nothing.

And keep in mind, while the designation of these alleged drug runners may be lawful, it does not mitigate the rules of engagement. Even if we assume the initial strike is lawful, no one has ever claimed these vessels posed a danger to the military assets engaged with them.

No one was shooting back at the Navy and one would be hard pressed to claim that two likely wounded men floating in the ocean posed any hazard to a 100,000 ton displacement aircraft carrier. They wouldn’t have even left a spot of the hull had they been run over by the ship (which would have been a less messy explanation of their demise.)

“Come to heading 250,”
“Aye aye sir,”
Bump!
“What was that?”
“I didn’t hear anything”
“Sir, there’s a small red stain on the hull.”
“No worries, we’ll paint it later”

2028 is on the horizon. Let’s hope we regain our senses before then. A new President, not a recycled one, will (hopefully) take office. We have frightened the world enough for this cycle.

Exploring Deep Space: The Dance of Light and Time

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

Whenever the weather permits, which around here is quite infrequent, I try to take advantage and get some photos of Deep Space Objects (DSO) or the planets. One of the aspects I miss from Arizona was in the three years we were there, we might have had three nights where the weather prohibited being outside. But it is what it is.

As the weather now cools, one of the bonuses of our new location is a large gas fire pit. This offers two benefits. First, it keeps me warm while the cameras gather the light from millions of light-years away, and second, it offers a view of something humans have gazed at for eons, the plasma flame, to consider things.

Hidden within the flame is the essence of the universe.

Thus, I can be relatively comfortable while I wait to gather the images that produce these finished pictures.

It struck me that the fuel burning to produce the flame likely derived from the remains of dinosaurs that were alive when the light from some of these stars and objects first began their journey to end up captured by my camera.

I was literally enjoying both the beginning moment and end times of this light.

NGC 4631

This image of NGC 4631, taken over 50 minutes of 10-second exposures, shows the light from that galaxy that left around 50 million years ago during the Eocene epoch. This was when many of the predecessors of modern mammals thrived.

It was likely that I was converting the atoms of carbon and hydrogen, formed in the nuclear furnace of the first stars, that once were inside the cells of living creatures, alive when the light from this galaxy first left the system, and sending it back out into the universe as heat.

Or at least sending it out after it kept me warm.

Quite frankly, sitting under the stars renews my faith in the future. When one considers all the cataclysmic events that had to come together for the atoms within all of us to travel the immense distances they did and evolve into the beings we have all become, it would seem nature has better things in store for us than just some of the nonsense we seem to focus on daily.

We should all take a moment, on a dark, cloudless night, to look up at the stars and remember that is where we all came from and where we will all return.

Remember, man, that thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return. Momento mori.

Dear Mr. President…

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

There is no nice way to say this, so I am just going to say it, much as it grieves me to do so.

Mr. President, you are an idiot.

I do not say this lightly, but I do say it sincerely.

You complain about DEI being a scourge of mankind, yet you foster your own version,

Denigrate, enrage, instigate.

What makes me say such a thing? Statements like this by you..

When asked to call for calm in the country after the killing of Mr. Kirk, this was your response,

“The radicals on the right are radical because they don’t want to see crime … The radicals on the left are the problem – and they are vicious and horrible and politically savvy. They want men in women’s sports, they want transgender for everyone, they want open borders. The worst thing that happened to this country.”

I think I can speak for the overwhelming majority of rational Americans and refute all of your contentions.

We do not want men in women’s sports, Beach volleyball would suffer greaty.

We do not want to “transgender” everyone. I thank the universe each day that I have no memory of circumcision. And if someone chooses to follow medical advice and have an add-a-dicktomy or dickectomy procedure (sound them out), who cares? It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my bones.

And we do not want open borders, but we do want opportunity for a continued flow of immigrants who have immeasurably added to the quality of the American way of life.

And here’s a little secret, it is impossible for someone to send their daughter/son to school and have them return “transgendered” as you have often alluded to. It cannot happen even in Trumpianville. What is possible is that they may send them to school where they could get shot, but we know your thoughts and prayers will be with them. Or would you like us to bear these as acceptable losses?

How about practicing some of that Christian faith you are so enamored with, and consider this. If you turn your Bible so it is not upside down and, here’s where the magic happens, open it, the instructions are right there. It might suggest something for you to consider, like the following idea.

If someone came here seeking opportunity, albeit unlawfully, then spent the next twenty years working, paying taxes, and raising a family without ever committing any other crime, shouldn’t we give them a pass? Consider it a completion of probation? Give them a get out of jail free card? A presidential pardon, perhaps? Goodness knows your standards for such things are pretty low.

I mean, if you can pardon good ole boys and gals who held that spontaneous renovation at the Capitol with a little bit of insurrection and overturning an election thrown in for good measure, I think the guy or gal cleaning bathrooms at McDonald’s (your favorite fine dining establishment) deserves some consideration.

Come on, the J6 guys assaulted cops, the guy at McDonald’s just emptied trash, and didn’t finish some paperwork. Seems comparable to me.

Let me restate my original point in simpler terms. Wait, there are no simpler terms. There is no way to say it any plainer. Mr. President, you are an idiot. And I mean idiot in the sense of Webster’s original definition (which they caution is dated and offensive but I will use since I know you hate this “woke” nonsense). You are this kind of idiot,

a person affected with extreme intellectual disability

And here is another reason why I believe the moniker of idiot is appropriate.

When presented with an opportunity to encourage peaceful dialogue, perhaps like a future Nobel Peace Prize laureate might do, and tone down the potential for more political violence, you fumbled like a third-string half-back with bone spurs.

What you did was feed fuel onto the fire of a false narrative. Pandering to the worst of human nature. Some people will see that as a clarion call to take action. Where does it end? Once a bullet leaves the barrel, it has no loyalty. It cares not for what it hits. Violence begets violence until someone has the courage to stand up and say enough!

You could have been that guy. You could’ve been a contender.

But, Mr. President, you are in fact an idiot…though frankly, no one should be shocked. It’s not as if it was an overnight transition.


The Name Game

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

Shirley!
Shirley, Shirley Bo-ber-ley
Bo-na-na fanna Fo-fer-ley
Fee-fi-mo-mer-ley
Shirley!

Apparently, the biggliest challenge facing our military, and by extension all areas of government, is the name of the department that runs it. Over the course of time, wokeness has caused us to dilute the power of a name.

Well, this President says NO More!

Our SGOTUS (Stable Genius of the United States), after deep contemplation and analysis, identified the problem and solved it.  Henceforth, the Secretary of Defense (interestingly enough, SODOTUS, which sounds quite sodden, more wet noodle than formidable force) will be known as Secretary of War. SOWOTUS (pronounced SoWhatUS) as in So what if you don’t like US, we’re doing it anyway. Now that is a manly sounding department!

But why stop there? If all it takes is a name change to make everything more effective, then I say get on with it.

SOSOTUS, Secretary of State of the United States, sounds like a call for help. We don’t need anyone’s help. So, the Secretary of State will now be Secretary of Belligerence (SOBOTUS)

The Department of Justice will now be called the Department of Crime and Punishment.

The Secretary of Agriculture is now the Department of Land Disposal.

The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) is now the Department of Presidential Assurance.

Department of the Treasury is now the Department of Money, Money, Money.

Department of Energy is now the Department of Drill, Baby, Drill.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is now Find, Brutalize, Inter

ICE, the acronym is perfect, but Immigration and Customs Enforcement is too kind and gentle. We’ll call them Identify, Capture, Eliminate.

With these simple changes, the entire world will now understand what we are all about. 

Making these changes will have long-term consequences, but we fear nothing.

Let’s just hope the changes don’t have a negative impact. Instead of the United States of America, we may soon be known as the Former United States of America. 

Our indivisibility no longer certain.

P.S. For those of you with the song Name Game stuck on a loop in your brain, you’re welcome

Nonsense on a Universal Scale

/ Joe Broadmeadow / Leave a comment

The following is a priceless example of the nonsensical, unoriginal, and idiotic pablum being offered by and to Trump supporters. Like a call for the government to come clean on UFOs and the aliens we have in custody and asking people to share the absolute truth of this deep government conspiracy, this stuff floods social media like a tidal wave of noxious effluence too toxic for a waste treatment facility.

Without further adieu, here it is in all its unedited glory…

I offer no apology for what I am posting for this is truly how I feel. Please know this is my opinion and not open for debate. If you don’t agree that’s your prerogative but I will not be responding to any or all comments. I have lived through several United States Presidents prior to our current President Trump. In my lifetime I have never seen or heard of a President being scrutinized over every word he speaks, demeaned by the public to the point of disgrace, slandered, ridiculed, insulted, lied to, threatened with death, threatened by some to rape our First Lady, and have his children also insulted and humiliated. I am truly ashamed of the people of MY country. I am ashamed of the ruthless, insufferable, cruel, Trump haters who have no morals, ethics or values and the irresponsibility of the reporters who feel they have the right to deliver personal opinions just to sway their audiences in a negative direction even if there is no truth in their message. After every other President was elected and took the oath of office they were allowed to try to serve this country without constant negative scrutiny from our news sources. ALWAYS BEING PRESSURED while news sources search only for negative results from our President will not serve the people of our country. Nor will it create informed Americans. ENOUGH is ENOUGH is ENOUGH. Nor have I ever known a President to serve in that capacity at no salary to line their bank accounts until PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP! He gave to other departments those funds! I am very proud to have and I still do stand with my PRESIDENT!

Now, leaving aside the horrific grammar, run-on sentences, apparent aversion to paragraphs, rampant cognitive dissonance, inconsistency of thought, not to mention a complete absence of originality or creativity, it offers a perfect view inside the mind (or lack thereof) of the most common of Mr. Trump’s supporters, the willfully ignorant. 

They are part of a phenomenon in this country where ignorance is seen as a badge of honor. Education beyond the most basic seems to be a reach for them. Those who post this nonsense are witless valedictorians with a Summa cum Laude in incomprehension.

Now, by education, I do not necessarily mean college, but for the love of all that is precious, read a history book once in a while.

It was challenging to resist interjecting comments directly into the text, but why bother? They would be ignored or misunderstood.

It’s not that most of those who post this idiocy do not know better; it is an intentional disregard of the clear contradictory evidence right before their eyes. The motivations are varied: intellectual laziness, a myopic view of current affairs, or a lack of understanding and historical ignorance.

There’s a phenomenon in this country where many celebrate ignorance. Education beyond basics seems to be a reach for them. Those who post this nonsense are witless valedictorians with a Summa cum Laude in incomprehension.

Joe Broadmeadow

The main point of this inexplicably viral post is that Mr. Trump faces a level of criticism for his actions that previous administrations did not. This is just one example of a falsehood within the piece.

Pointed and intelligent criticism of the President, or any government official, is a necessary tool in balancing the power of government and the rights of the governed.

Lyndon Johnson (perhaps one of the presidents the author of this nonsense references) had an almost psychotic dislike of the media. When asked about this relationship to the press, Johnson said this.

“I could walk across the Potomac on a bright sunny summer day, and the headline would read, ‘Johnson Can’t Swim!’

I will continue to take great pleasure in reading these postings and savaging them. Although the joy is tempered by the thought that these people are out there, perhaps unmedicated, congratulating themselves in their ignorance, embracing the Second Amendment, wrapping themselves in the flag, and ignoring the reality right before their eyes.

And they somehow managed to vote.

(Insert name of your personal favorite miraculous being here) Save Us!