Here’s a little amusing trick to use when forced to endure those one-sided, annoying, mostly childish, unavoidable cell-phone conversations overheard EVERYWHERE.

Fill in the other side of the conversation!

Here’s how it works;

(OVERHEARD)

So, what did he say…

Yeah….

and what did you say…..

Yeah….then what did he say

No…..

And what did you do…..

My version

So, what did he say…

“He said I am sorry, it always worked before, I don’t know why it won’t go up”

Yeah….

“He said I thought I liked goats, and she was pretty, but I couldn’t perform”

and what did you say…..

“You broke my goat’s heart”

Yeah….then what did he say

“I prefer sheep!!!”

No…..

“Yeah, in church no less we were talking about this!!”

And what did you do…..

“Well, he apologized, and so I drove him home to his mom’s garage, he’s only staying there until his book is published, and then I slept with him”.

Think of the possibilities, particularly when you have figured out the reality of the situation.

(OVERHEARD)

Hello..

What, work of course…..

No, not sure when I will be out

I can’t remember, I will find it when I get back

Who?

My version

Hello

“Where the hell are you?”

What, work of course…..

“Why are you still there, the baby is crowning, when will you be here?”

No, not sure when I will be out

“Not sure, what the hell, okay doesn’t matter, you are not the father anyway, where is the 9mm I had in the closet?”

I can’t remember, I will find it when I get back

“Okay, make sure you bring the whore bitch with you so I can conserve ammo”

Who?

“Really?”