They Couldn’t Name this “Controversy” Any Better

*Trigger warning. I will use politically incorrect yet absolutely accurate terms for some people mentioned in the following essay.

The headline caught my eye. “Froot Loops Is in Hot Water.” The cereal producer faces a boycott because “Kellogg’s cereal brand Froot Loops is facing boycott calls for offering consumers a digital library of children’s books that promote equality, diversity, and inclusion (ED&I).”

Well, of course they do. We can’t let Froot Loops dictate social policy. Who do they think they are? What gives them the right to promote equality, diversity, and inclusion? Why would we want anything like that?

The one saving grace is this is a Canadian story. I hope this causes Congress to redirect the building of a wall along the Canadian Border. We don’t want those Canadian Froot Loops coming across the border. We have plenty enough of our own.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Froot Loops contains a potent chemical from a secret government black site that turns people gay. It would explain how gay people seemed to have suddenly arrived here in the US back in the 60s.

I mean, come on. Do you really think it was a coincidence Froot Loops goes on sale and next we have the Village People?

It is a good thing we have a solid Froot Loop defense mechanism already in place. We’ll fight against this inclusivity nonsense with every prejudiced, judgmental, and sophomoric, yet patriotic, bone in our Red, White, and Blue bodies.

What a bunch of Froot Loops. How dare they try to distract our kids from TV and American advertisers selling all those Chinese made goods. Reading is for sissies; you might learn something, and we know what happens then…

3 thoughts on “They Couldn’t Name this “Controversy” Any Better

  1. Joe as always, the voice of reason. I think our new Speaker of the House has Fruit Loops on his radar.

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