The First Act of President Trump: Eliminating Dangerous Bike Differences

We are off wandering around Kiawah Island for the next couple of weeks, enjoying the sun, beach, and the area near Charleston, SC.

Soon, our daughter, Kelsey, and son-in-law, Chuck, will arrive to celebrate the first, and only, dangerous invasion of immigrants this country has ever seen, we call it Thanksgiving.

But this concerns a much more important subject; the danger of the horizontal cross-piece on boy’s

As part of the equipment we brought to enhance our stay, we took my wife’s and daughter’s bikes with us. (We also brought our daughter’s dogs because hey, who doesn’t like a foul-breathed enthusiastic French kiss from a who-knows-where-it’s-been tongue attached to a rescue dog named Seamus at 6:00 AM to start your day?)

Anyway, we took the bikes out for a ride. Now, I have been riding my daughter’s bike which is equipped with the curved, non-horizontal cross-piece. It demonstrates that I have become comfortable with my sexuality as, not too long in the past, I would refuse to be seen on a “girl’s” bike.  In discussing the differences, my wife pointed out the history behind the design.

It would seem women used to wear dresses all the time under the rules of the male dominated society. (Something not openly part of the President-elect’s platform, but I bet it was considered. Along with the myth of Evolution, but I digress.)

To accommodate the dress, the bar was curved to allow the material to fit in a demure and proper way. No need to rile the lusts of the wicked by a glimpse of seven layers of fluffy undergarments.

The argument for the horizontal piece in a boy’s bike was for strength. It added rigidity to the frame. I think that is a myth. I think Mrs. Wife of Bike designer suggested it to her designer husband. Then, gathering her friends, took great pleasure watching her husband and his male friends suffer the inevitable slip from the seat and smashing of the family jewels.

That’ll teach them to insist we wear dresses, they’d chortle, as the menfolk writhed in pain on the ground.

So, President-elect Trump, instead of fretting over a couple of Award winning actors in a brilliant play issuing appeals to reason and rationality, how about you focus on fixing the obvious imbalance in bike design?

Issue a Presidential Tweet. Fix the Bike. Ball Smashing Bars are a danger to future generations. Make All Bike Equal! I think the bike was INVENTED by immigrants if that helps motivate.

Make bikes a beautiful thing!

The “boys” of the boys of America thank you.



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