Whenever I buy something new, I am always amused by the instructions or warnings. In particular, the universal stick figure illustrations that attempt to transcend language differences.
My personal favorite is the warnings on the desiccant pack included with most electronics. Their purpose is to absorb moisture. The warning, ominous and serious, says, “Not for Human Consumption.”
In all my life I never once considered having them for dinner. Not once. Yet, there are the warnings.
I used to be insulted that someone thought them necessary. Now, however, I see a need for them on what would seem a self-explanatory use of an item.
Dog waste bags, in the proper English. Dog shit bags in the vernacular.
You would think no explanation or instructions are necessary.
You would be wrong.
I walk the bike path in Albion almost every day. And almost every day the bike path is littered with used, yet improperly disposed of, dog waste bags.
Apparently, the concept is too complex for most.
It would seem simple.
Buy the bags, attach the convenient dispenser to the dog leash, take dog for a walk, observe (discreetly so as not to give performance anxiety) as the dog dispenses the processed Alpo, Purina, or recently consumed trash, pick up said pile of waste with the bag, spin vigorously to secure, tie in a knot, and then, here is where the instructions are necessary, DISPOSE OF IT.
Do not toss to the side of the bike path.
Do not leave them behind.
TAKE IT WITH YOU AND PUT IT IN THE TRASH.
For the love of all that is good, if you’re gonna leave it behind, why would you entomb a biodegradable item in a non-biodegradable plastic coffin?
The shit would be gone in a few days, the bag will be here until the end of time. It will confuse future alien archeologists. Imagine that discussion. “They bagged what? No way.”
One wonders if there is any hope for America. It’s hard to be optimistic when you realize some of these simpletons vote. People who cannot figure out that disposing of the waste bag is a critical part of the process probably shouldn’t be allowed out without supervision.