Is it really Love that dies or is it just an unwillingness to make the effort to sustain it?
Loving someone is hard work. It is also bilateral. If you think THEY are hard to love, imagine how they feel about you.
The most successful lovers are the ones that can enjoy the newness of the initial attraction, work to build the foundation of the long term relationship, and then continue to work when, as the song says, “The thrill is gone”.
It is in the longevity, the willingness to work at “keeping love alive”, that benefits us the most. It is not measured in time, intensity, or level of passion, but in the conscious effort to practice and get better at it.
Like a musical instrument, it requires practice, practice, practice.
I saw an older couple the other day getting ready to board a plane. The husband was in a wheelchair and the wife was just too stubborn to acknowledge she needed one as well.
They sat near where I was working so I could easily hear the conversation since they were both compensating for their hearing deficit with loud voices.
The conversation went like this;
“YOU WANT A COFFEE OR WATER?”
“SURE, BUT DECAF YOU KNOW WHAT CAFFEINE DOES TO ME”
“TWO SUGARS, SWEETIE?”
“OF COURSE, AND A DONUT TOO, YOU KNOW THE KIND DUNKIN DONUT HAS THAT I LIKE”
Now at this point the old guy gets up from the chair (happens all the time), starts walking towards the security checkpoint, and I realize he’s headed past security to Dunkin’ Donuts. The TSA restricts liquids from being brought past security so I go up to the guy to tell him that.
He stops for a moment, looks at his wife,and then says “CAN I BRING DONUTS IN?”
“Yes, of course, but you still have to go back through security, you can get coffee and bagels at a couple of places without going past security”.
So he again looks at the wife and starts toward Security. 45 minutes later he comes back with a bag holding no more than one donut, hands it to his wife and says,
“I’LL GO GET YOUR COFFEE NOW”
I offer to go get the coffee for him but he smiles and says “KID, I CAN USE THE PEACE AND QUIET, WHEN I GET BACK SHE WON’T STOP TALKING”
If that isn’t love I don’t know if it exists.