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Here in Arizona, the birds seem to ignore the usual pattern of laying and hatching their young in the spring. While it is still the busiest of seasons for nesting, I recently noticed several fledglings preparing to leave the nest here in the “dry” heat of summer.
Or should I say, being encouraged, persuaded, and bribed to go? The fledglings themselves were a recalcitrant bunch.
What first drew my attention was a bit of an odd-looking sparrow. Hopping about on several branches, it first appeared to be shaped like a young duckling. Being in the middle of the desert, miles from any meaningful lake, river, or even a significant puddle, this, of course, drew my eye and surprised me.
Once it hopped into a more well illuminated area, I could see it was not a duckling but a young, Brown-crested flycatcher. He, or she, was holding fast the familiar area of the nest.
Nearby, two adults were trying to lure the youngster away with food. She was having none of it. Screeching for them to deliver the food as it had been done all her life.
She was comfortable with the familiar.
As are we all.
Despite the reality of life being a series of changes, of comings and goings, of beginnings and endings, we cling to that which is familiar and resist change.
As infants, we crave the embrace of our parents, taking solace in the comfort it brings. Then, there comes the time when our parents pick us up for the last time. This brings a mixed feeling of newfound independence and a bit of a sense of loss for what we thought would last forever.
All our lives we grow comfortable with our daily lives only to have some unknown element arrive that changes everything. Like the fledgling bird, we are pushed and prodded to leave the nest.
Our fear of the unknown competing against the excitement of new experiences.
Psychiatrist R. D Laing, who delved into existential philosophy, postulated there are three common fears shared by most humans,
Death, new people, and being alone with your thoughts.
Each of these are examples of new things happening.
Meeting new people can pose a challenge. Over time, experience teaches us that first impressions are as often wrong as they are right, thus the reticence of bringing new people into the fold. Yet, without meeting someone new, we’d never have friends and lovers, shared experiences, or memories, and that would be a greater loss.
Being alone with one’s thoughts I found particularly intriguing. As a writer, I spend a great deal of time living inside my head thinking about things to write. And it is often the experiences of new things or people that plant the seed for an idea or story.
Death, along with birth, the only two experiences shared by every human, is the most difficult to accept and is the ultimate change. No one knows with any certainty what lies after the experience. There are hopes, suppositions, and speculations, but little else.
I find it odd how something we cannot avoid no matter how hard we try causes so much anxiety in most people. All the time one spends worrying about, preparing for, or praying to augment what happens after you die is time wasted when you could devote it to living.
As I watched that young bird’s tentative, but hesitant, first “steps” into a life away from the nest, I couldn’t help but wonder if hanging on to things that comfort us is the cushion absorbing the shock of new things. Its grip is not so powerful as to prevent us from living life and the experiences that come with it.
We are the better for it.
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