The Proper Way to Prepare… Peeps

As a connoisseur of all things sweet—well, not licorice, that is only fit for rats and other vermin—I wanted to impart my wisdom on the proper service of one of the most delightful delicacies of the Easter Season.

Now, along with bunny-shaped Sweet Tarts and White Chocolate—solid, not mere shells—eggs as my favorites, there is one particular delight that requires proper preparation before it can be appropriately enjoyed.

Peeps, that delectable mixture of gooey marshmallow, sugar, and food coloring, cannot be fully enjoyed right out of the package. No, no, my friend, to do so is to miss the real ecstasy of candy nirvana.

Now most people of inferior culinary taste rush to devour these yellow pieces of heaven in a fit of sugar cravings. And while they enjoy the brief sugar rush, they are missing a truly blissful candy experience.

But to enjoy this moment of elation, one must properly prepare the Peeps. This requires a minimum of three days preparation where the Peeps will sit tantalizingly near as they properly age. They will, like a Siren’s song, call to you to devour them. But be strong, my friends, and it will be worth it.

First, tear open the package. Do not use scissors or a knife as you might damage the Peeps. Tear it open like a three-year-old trying to get at a new toy. Then, exposing the Peeps to the air—and this is the tough part—place them on the counter, unconsumed, and…wait.

Be patient. Do not look at them during this process. Hold firm and on the third day they will transform—an almost transubstantiation-like effect—into something magical.

Trust me. Where some will grimace and claim the Peeps are now stale, we true connoisseurs will know, with each crunchy bite, the true meaning of Nirvana.

One thought on “The Proper Way to Prepare… Peeps

  1. I throughly enjoyed this! My favorite way to consume is to microwave the peep for 5-8 seconds. Try it; it’ll rock your world!

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