“I Demand the Cone of Silence.”

Having the good fortune to grow up in the sixties, my generation experienced many things that can mitigate the toxic political environment of today.

We survived duck and cover as the first generation to live under the threat of global thermonuclear war. While the duck and cover practice was an exercise in futility, it at least showed the government can pay attention to the needs of the people.

We experienced the only televised Presidential debate that changed an election, Kennedy v. Nixon, and learned the importance of shaving before going on TV to face the nation.

We survived the first genuinely evil Presidency. Again, Mr. Nixon was involved.

We had the best TV shows, music, movies, and all the cool bands.

“I demand the cone of silence.”

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86

And, as our time faded and a new generation evolved to lead the latest trends, we witnessed the beginning of the end of American Cultural Hegemony with the rise of Disco.

So from the dark recesses of the past, from the treasures of the 60s generation, I bring you a solution to correcting the juvenile idiocy of the first Presidential Debate of 2020.

To borrow a line from a star of one of the immortal gems of a TV show, Get Smart, “I demand the cone of silence.”

A simple modification to the device and we can encase the candidates in the 2020 version, silence them when it is the other’s turn to speak, and turn what resembled a riot in a pre-school  into a semblance of a rational discussion of ideas.

If this works, perhaps we can retrofit Congress with such devices.

And then add Fox News!

My guess is this will only be necessary for any debate including Mr. Trump. The Vice Presidential Debate will require no such muzzling. Vice President Pence may hold views that are diametrically opposed to most Americans (and to things discovered during the Enlightenment) but he will not act the fool.

My guess is he is terrified of being in the same forum with Ms. Harris. For this debate, they won’t need a cone of silence. But they may want to have a supply of plasma on hand if it does turn into an existential bloodbath.


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