I like to think of myself as an open-minded progressive sort. I try to suppress any legacy prejudices or preconceptions to changes in life or new experiences. But I saw something the other day that is a bridge too far even for me.

I saw an advertisement for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with Potato Chips embedded within.

Now, I am a fan of both Reese’s and chips. But combining them into one is heresy and an abomination before all who love candy.

Anyone who would put peanut butter on potato chips demonstrates their evolutionary failure toward being civilized.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups can be enjoyed straight out of the package, or even frozen, but never adulterated by an infusion of chips.

It just isn’t right.

And to those of you who say I should try it before I judge, I say never. Never will such an abhorrent and detestable thing be ingested by me. And if you think you can change my mind, perhaps you could send me a carton or so of this so-called advancement in candy. I’d be willing to open my mind to the slight possibility I would enjoy them.

Message me if you need my address for delivery purposes.

P.S. And if anyone from Hershey’s Chocolate is reading this, perhaps you might consider retaining me as a candy sampler for all future new endeavors. I have years of experience…